1 month old already!

Can you believe it? My little guy is 1 month old. Oh my time flies when you are sleep deprived and in need of a good soaking in the tub. I'm the one that needs the soaking, not Philip. For whatever reason my little buggie boo doesn't think he needs to nap. He is a big boy now....sure. He thinks he needs to be up all day, which is fine, but I don't get anything done and the little goober is so dog gone tired that he cires. That is what I don't like to hear. The constant crying, which will abruptly stop when he is picked up by anybody. At least it isn't just me he wants, anyone will do, but the crying is just too much! I told him that all he had going for him was the fact that he is too cute for words. The little booger had the gull to laugh and smile at me. Evil little thing isn't he!

I will add pictures when I get my computer to C-O-O-P-E-R-A-T-E which is probably about the time that my S-O-N will!

Our little man!

Here is a better picture of our man that his aunt kim took the day after he was born.



He is down a few ounces now to 7lbs 15oz but is still doing well. He didn't sleep well last night so that means I didn't sleep well either. Ryan took him at 3:30 to try his hand at getting him to sleep. I'm glad he did, because it worked and allowed me to get about 3 hours in myself. Ryan had to sleep with him in his arms reclined in the chair. I don't think you can spoil a newborn, so if he wants to be warm and sleep in Daddy's arms be my guest. The nurse came in this morning and swaddled him, laid him on his side and out he went. Thanks....can I take her home with me? Do you know how many hours we tried that last night to no avail. What a bugger we have on our hands. The good news is he is breastfeeding like a champ and my milk has come in. I can now join the ranks of the milk maid. A group I'm honored to be a part of.

Here is our new little family


Me and my little buggy-boo

Welcome Philip Benjamin!

What a long and exhausting week we have had! Mother's Day started out boring. Went to breakfast with Ryan's family and then had my mom over for "dinner." It was subway for the boys and mom and I had a chicken from the deli. Exciting, huh! On Friday the 9th I was dilated to a 2 and was completely thinned. She didn't think I would make it through the weekend, and quite honestly I didn't think I would either. I was way wrong. She made an appointment for Tuesday and said we would talk induction if I hadn't had him yet. We went on Tuesday and I was the same as Friday. She told me to go to the hospital at 8 and I would take a pill to soften my cervix more and start labor. I was having contractions every 3 minutes all night. Wednesday morning she gave me another pill and said she would come back at lunch to break my water. By lunch time I was only a 3 and she thought breaking my water would make things come more hot and heavy. She also ordered pitocin for me. At this time I was having contractions every 2 minutes and I could tolerate them. After she broke my water they came hot and heavy and got very intense. After an hour we had to stop the pitocin because buglet's heartrate dropped too low and he wasn't handling it very well. I labored until 8:30 and by then was begging for an epidural. After that, I didn't feel the contractions and she hoped I would dilate more. They restarted the pitocin and he handled it much better the second time. She came in at 10:45 to check my progress and I was only a 4. Poor buglet was starting to get a bruise on his head and she didn't think I would be able to dilate anymore so we had no choice but to do a c-section. Not what I wanted at all. I started to cry and said I needed to make phone calls to family. I'm glad I didn't have too much time to think about it because I would have freaked out more. My parents made a 20 minute trip in 3 minutes and were there to send us off to the or. We rolled in at 11:08 and he was born at 11:12 pm Wednesday night. He was 8lbs 5oz and 21 inches long. He came into the world crying elephant tears and screaming his lungs out. What a cool thing to see and experience. I leave the rest for later and add some pictures.


me in labor,still smiling at this point!


Daddy coming with his new son and the doc while I was being put back together


daddy with Philip

36w5d

I can't believe that I'm getting so close! OMG I am not ready. I still have to pack my bag, put the car seat in Ryan's truck, put together the stroller, prepare for labor...my list goes on and on. Will I ever be completely ready? No, probably not, but I would like to have a plan in place at least. I have been practicing my labor breathing and working out our route to the hospital in my mind. Been toying with the "do I want an epidural or not" thinking. I'm thinking yes I do....no sense in being a hero. I'm scared at how Ryan will react to me being in pain. I don't think that he is going to react as well as he thinks. I am putting my money on the fact that he will be down and out for the count. He originally wanted to video tape, but I don't think that he will even think about it once we get going. Thank goodness, because that is something I wouldn't want to come out a dinner party!

I went to the doc yesterday and it turns out that I'm 50% effaced, dilated to a 1 and the baby is at -2 station. What the means is my cervix is thinning out and opening and the baby is engaged in my pelvis, just where he should be. Yeah! As far as how long I have to wait for him to come out is in the air. I just want to make it to May 1 and then he come at any point.

I have some pictures that I will post on Monday. Wow, my belly has dropped. I'm waddling now too. Never thought I would be a waddler, but boy am I ever.

32 Weeks

I can't believe that I'm offically 32w4d now. OMG! We started our labor and delivery class on Tuesday. Holy overwhelming I tell you. She cramed way too much info at us and just made me more nervous and scared than before I walked in the door. They talked about the baby dropping, I think they called it lightening, about 2 to 4 weeks before you go into labor. I do believe folks that little buglet has dropped.....OMG! Have I mentioned the fact that I'm not ready yet? I don't want to go through labor! Can we slow down here for a moment and just take a deep breath? Am I normal or am I just being stupid? Wow, I don't feel any better but it sure is nice to see that in words and not just thoughts going through my head every 5 minutes.

Anywho, have some funny stuff to share with you. This part isn't funny, but I have been battling a cold/whatever now for over a week. I'm on antibiodics again and am just hoping and praying for a little relief one of these days. My cough is deep and irritaing and my nose will not stop running now. I look like rudolph from wiping my nose all the time. I'm keeping Ryan awake at night with the rumbling of my chest. It isn't pretty. Last week friday I decided that I was going to lock my 3 cats out of my bedroom. They are taking up way too much room in bed and I can't seem to get comfy these days and I'm done with them sleeping at my feet. I closed both doors, tight, gave myself some tylenol pm and was out for the count. About 4 am I felt my body moving, like I was falling. I felt Ryan moving me in bed and asked what he was doing. I looked down and at my feet were 3 cats and I had no leg, AGAIN! They must have formed a pyramid in outside our door so that they could break in to sleep with mommy. I have decided to give up and just let them sleep in there and Ryan is nice enough to share his minimal leg room with me. Being 6 and a half feet tall he doesn't have much to begin with. Ryan left for work and I went back to sleep. About 3 hours later our big male cat would leave me alone. He keep sticking his nose under my arm and trying to get under the sheets with me. Quite frankly he was pissing me off. Finally I sat up and said "For the love of God leave me the frick alone!" It was then that I noticed what he was going after. Got Milk? I do! My milk had started to leak and the sheets had a spot on them and he could smell it. Did I mention that I'm not ready to go into labor yet? I'm not going to do it? Goodness this is all going too fast. Can we slow down just a little bit maybe? Please?

Here is my 32 week Photo:


This is a picture of crib that we all finally agreed on. I didn't think it was possible for us all to agree, but we did it. Way to go family!


sorry it's so small. If you click on it, doesn't make it any bigger. We are putting it up this weekend, so I'll make sure to get photos up on Monday of what his room looks like so far. I'm getting really excited and I think that once the crib is up and the cradle is set, then I'll calm down. Fingers crossed that will happen!

Much awaited photo....

is finally here. It isn't that good of a photo because I took it myself at school today. You can see the crappy paint job they did on my unforgiving red door behind me. You get what you pay for, huh! This picture is 31w2d according to my new due date. My ob thinks that I won't make it to 40 weeks, she is prediciting the first part of May. That would be nice, but I know that nothing is set in stone so I won't hold my breath. I know he will come when he is ready. I'm so huge, but have only gained 7 pounds now. I feel like I have gained more than that, but the scale tells me different. I had gained 9 pounds, but lost 2 at my last visit. I still can't believe how easy pregnancy has been on me. I was really thinking that it would be a lot harder and I wouldn't enjoy it as much. I was wrong. I want to meet my little man and all, but it sure is neat to see my stomach move and feel him kick and turn. So here it is:



My goodness I need to do something with my hair. My friend is learning how to do hair and she is willing to get me all pretty for labor and delivery and I'm taking her up on it. I want to be a diva and look sexy. Like I will care at that point anywho, but you know.

Well Ryan made it through cuts and even ended up with a little overtime this week. How nice is that? I can't believe they ended up cutting 35 people this time and they may be cutting more. Only time will tell. They also asked him to be the person who trains people for proper crane usage and using the hi-lo. Big time stuff apparently. He is pretty happy that he was saved and needless to say we got a full nights sleep last night finally. Boy did I need that. I can't believe how tired I get these days. It seems like just walking from my car to the house requires a shot of oxygen. Like I said I feel like I have gained 30 pounds. It mostly depends on his position though. If he is high then it is worse. If he is low than I feel much better when I'm moving around.

Well that's all for now. Tomorrow I will post a picture of our crib. My mom found a nice one that we all agreed on.

I hate Mondays!

Mondays never used to bother me, but for some reason now they just plain suck. Today is D-day at Ryan's work and they are laying people off. I haven't heard anything from him, so I'm guessing that he is ok. He has almost 13 years in, but with them not being a union shop I don't know if that will help him or not. Unfortunately one of his buddies got the layoff today. Man that just sucks!

Some of my blog land friends are going through some rough times right now. That isn't fair either. Life can be so cruel and evil sometimes and I don't understand why. I feel so guilty that my belly is full of a kicking healthy baby and yet others who deserve the same aren't getting their dreams. I know I have been through a lot myself to get here, but it still doesn't take away the hurt and emptiness I feel when I read the latest miscarriage story or the next BFN. I wish I could do something to help everyone get that deserving BFP. It breaks my heart what some have to go through. It just isn't fair.