My emotions are getting bad!

One minute I'm happy at everything in and loving being pregnant and the next minute I'm pissed off about something. Not sure what that something is half the time, but it is there and obviously bugging me. Then I start the guilty feeling and I start to feel like I'm going to cry. I feel guilty for those people that have been trying and trying to get preggers with no avail, even though I was one of those and still in many ways feel like we are still trying sometimes. I rub my belly and I long to meet my little buglet and hope that everything is going ok. I know that while I'm pregnant there will always be the worry if our buglet has a beating heart and moving and once they are born you have a whole other set of worries. I just want the worrying to stop. I want to scream that I'm pregnant to the world but them I'm afraid if something happens I will just have one more person to tell the story too. Aren't I just a ball of emotions today? I'm not sure what the problem is. I didn't sleep very well last night, that is probably part of it, but give me a break!

I rented a doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat, because according to my doctor I'm a PPW. In layman's terms that stands for pregnant paranoid woman. We got the doppler on Monday and I found the heartbeat within a minute. Same thing on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday my mom and dad came over to hear the baby and of course it took like 20 minutes to find the baby. I thought that Thursday would be a good day to try again, so try I did and after 30 minutes I was starting to get a little bit on edge. I gave up and Ryan reassured me that the baby is between 2 and 3 inches and has lots of hiding places in my tummy. He is right, thank god one of is rational these days. Lord knows I'm not! He got into the shower and being the PPW that I am I got out the doppler and laid down in bed. After 10 minutes I finally said "Ok baby can you please cut mommy a little slack here tonight?" 2 minutes later there was our little buglet just a bleeding away on the doppler. What a relief! The doppler we have has a screen that displays the heart rate. Last night the heart rate was in the mid 130's. I'm not sure how accurate the reading is just because the baby is so small.

Tomorrow we are off to a big Michigan/Michigan State party at Ryan's step-brother's house. I can't wait. The spartans are going to bring it tomorrow and those wolverines are going to walk off the field with their tails between their legs. Go Green! Betcha can't guess which team I'm rooting for? I have a MSU shirt that I put future spartan around my belly button with iron ons. I have some temp tattoos too. It's going to be great. I'll try to remember my digital so I can post some pictures of the fine event! Hopefully Monday I won't be eatting my words.