Ugh!

Got the call today I wasn't ready for. Looks like I'm going to have a Lap done tomorrow afternoon. I'm scared to death to be put under, which to me seems silly. It is just a procedure to check and see if everything is ok and to find out why I can't get pregnant. They say it is a little uncomfortable, but shouldn't be too bad pain wise. I'm just hoping that we will be able to find out if everything is ok. I am amazed at some of the things women are willing to do to get pregnant today. I'm not sure how far I'm willing to go before I will throw in the towel. My body is tired already and I haven't been at this that long.

We have 6 IUI's under our belt. In October, we found out we were preggers only to have it end in an early miscarriage. Then nothing in November and we took December off due to cysts. I'm really hoping that we can try in January and February for sure and will be able to have a baby before the end of 2007. February will mark the 2 year point in our TTC journey. I have friends having babies and others trying to have a baby. It would be nice to be able to tell them that we are having a baby too. I already know how I will be telling everyone. I just need the chance to do it.

I am going to try and write more and keep this site up to date. It is way for me to heal and a way for me to express my feelings without bombarding Ryan with everything. I just wish that he would tell me more and not keep everything bottled up inside. I don't think he feels I can handle what he has too say. It couldn't be that bad, could it?