cd17

Today is cycle day 17 already. I can't believe it. By this time I would be obsessing and noting every symptom, praying it was pregnancy related. Now I'm just sitting back, waiting for the old hag to show her face so I can move on to try #8. I have to say that I am a little bit excited about this try. I need to be. This is the first time in a longtime I haven't felt the urge to POAS.

I am saddened, though, in a way right now. I keep telling myself that the next big family get together I will have an important announcement to make. First it was my birthday, then 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and then my mother-in-law's birthday. Now I have come to Easter and my grandma's 90th birthday. Am I normal? Am I the only one who keeps thinking of cool ways to tell people that we are expecting. I feel like I keep setting myself up for heartache. One of these times it will work, right? How much heartache can one go through before they go absolutely insane?

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and he asked why we hadn't gone to adoption yet. I didn't even hesitate when I answered him. We have spent a boat load of money on trying to get preggers, don't get me wrong. I know that Ryan has thought about adoption, but I'm not ready yet. Not only am I not ready, I don't have to be a mom immediately. I'm not giving up on having a biological child yet. If money were the issue, and is kind of is, then adoption would be the easy way out. We would get a child, case closed. I have the need, urge, desire, want to be pregnant. Call it what you want, I have it. I long to be pregnant and feel a baby growing inside of me. I can't shake that feeling and just adopt. Maybe after we have 1 together, I will change my mind, but until then I can't. Is that selfish of me? I don't think so.

Anywho, we have so much snow in Michigan it isn't even funny. I will have to post some pictures from my digital. It is crazy how much we have. I can't believe it. There must be atleast 18 inches in spots. We just got dumped on and it doesn't look like there is an end in sight. We will get more this weekend. There is one good thing though, our windchill now is above zero. There for a few days it wasn't, so school was closed. All I have to say is SNOW DAY! I got to catch up on my soap's.....boy have I missed a lot!

Hugs to all!